Lost Memories

Has someone ever broken your heart?  Then you are more cautious and protective with your emotions.  

Have you ever unintentionally hurt someone's feelings?  Then you are probably more understanding when someone does it to you.

Have you have been burned in a business deal?  Then you are more careful when making the next deal.  

Some experiences leave a permanent imprint on us.   Positive experiences become like signposts to the driver, directing us toward more positive experiences.  Negative experiences become like lighthouses to the sailor, warning us to navigate around problems.  The experiences of our past make us react to present conditions.  

Yet other experiences pass us by without notice.  Opportunities are missed.  Feelings are unintentionally hurt. Smiles, words, looks and body language are lost in translation. 

However, the experiences that have left a permanent imprint on us are now merely memories.  It is the memories of these past experiences that affect us in the present.  

Our memories, based on actual experience, can sometimes take on a life of their own.  The smallest things can become more significant when replayed in our minds.  Comments and looks can niggle and chafe and become larger over time.  What was really a bump in the road becomes a massive mountain to avoid.  Or we can read expectantly into events, thinking we are hearing things that we want to hear. We expect things from people where no commitments were made.

I tend to be an ignorant fool.  I think other people are far more capable of detecting nuance and subtlety.  Comments, glances, conversations pass by and I miss implied meanings.  I think back to my young adult years and recognize events that confused me at the time.  Those events are now clear in my mind with new-found understanding.  I am embarrassed that I was so clueless at the time to miss the meaning that was obvious to those around me.  Yet I am equally clueless today with new experiences that I will probably understand better in the future.   

(Even this post may be a prime example of my relative innocence that I will some day look back on and say "duh!". ) 

What would I see if I could re-experience my life?  If I could be the ghost viewing my life as in "A Christmas Carol", what would I see that I missed? What would I reinterpret based on a fresh view of the actual events?  What lost memories should have been remembered?

Weekend in Maine

We spent the weekend in Maine with my parents and my brother's family.

All ten of us went to the beach on Saturday and experienced some wicked waves from Hurricane Bob. ("Wicked" here = "good"). After a few huge waves, most of us were done swimming for the day.


High tide finally reclaimed the beach and forced a change of activity.


The Evening was spent out for the "kids" "without kids" (and Bingo for the kids).





Sunday we decided to further experience Hurricane Bob by going up the coast and seeing the force of nature.




First we stopped at Biddeford Pool, where the surf against the rocks was truly incredible. For me, this was the high point of the weekend.







Next stop: Portland Head Light. The smaller lighthouse off the coast was being buffeted by some large waves.

I know many people would be disappointed with the weather this weekend. Originally we were planning to hike Mount Washington, but the weather prevented that. In the end, we found things that used the weather to our advantage.

Computer All Clean

My computer was crashing all day Wednesday. I tried every tool and utility in the book, but no fix was to be had. The hardware diagnostics all passed, which wouldn't matter since it is out of warranty (only one year? humph ...). Since nothing seemed to indicate failure but no restore would remedy this malady, I was left with a single option.

I reinstalled the Operating System (Windows Vista, for those who care) and my computer is now fresh and clean. Unfortunately, it is also bare and ignorant. So many updates! So much software to install! So much data to restore!

After 48 hours I have a minimally functional system. Still, I am glad to have it! My old computer is a real dog!

Computer Issues

My primary computer will not run without crashing. It will run for about a minute before I get a blue screen crash. I don't know if I have hardware issues or software issues. I don't even know who to be angry at right now.

To make matters worse, my secondary computer is installing updates. It has been installing update 15 of 18 for a while now, because I have not run them in a long time. I have been waiting for 2 hours. This is after a 2.5 hour scan by Symantec's virus scanner. If a "total protection package" is supposed to protect you from getting viruses in the first place, why does it have to scan for them? (I know, it is being thorough.)

I end up spending all day hitting "enter" and clicking "OK" without doing anything creative. Very mind numbing!

Egoistic?

You are reading this? Really?

I don't have any illusions that anyone will read this. I am looking for a "blog" for Cub Scout purposes. I really would like to allow people to discuss ideas openly about events, fundraising, leadership, etc.

After looking at this, I may decide that what I really need is a discussion group. This would be way too open! I need something with topics!

Even if I don't use this for Cub Scouts, this forum gives more freedome than Facebook!